whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
