They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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