Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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