drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
