he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
