to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
