would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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