It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
