I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize