I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
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Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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