He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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