You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
