I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
he quoted the bible to break up with me
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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