Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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