I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
