and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Hippo gnu deer
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
