just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
we're so committed to being not committed
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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