My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
