You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..