it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
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Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
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We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER