like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
