there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
