She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
So squirting runs in the family.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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