it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
