Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
whose ass print is on the piano?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
