24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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