Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
