Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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