What a fucking waste of an outfit
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
