Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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