Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
