If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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