Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
