pedialite and red bull = repair kit
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
