dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
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The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
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Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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