Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
