the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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