its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You ruined the universe
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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