Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Nicole vs. Life
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
