chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
