By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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