Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
