That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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