this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I understand Curling. That high.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I have feelings that need drinking.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
