I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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