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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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