READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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