i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
