pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
