Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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