For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
