Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
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hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
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He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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