if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
