Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
