shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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