the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
