oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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