:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
