yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize