so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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