Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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