So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
It's blow job season.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
