OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize