His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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