It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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